| "One more thing..." "Aviod actors," barks Frank Converse as studio boss Fallon. "They'll kill you." "That's alright, Fallon tells him. "I would never typecast you as a detective either."Requiem For A Falling Star "Listen Columbo, just for a minute how about we stop pretending that I'm brilliant and you're simple!"Fade In To Murder " and THAT, sir,.... gives me GREAT PLEASURE INDEED, Sir!!!" Murder, Smoke, And Shadows "I see he's Italian and we Italians have got to stick together," Columbo's reply to Joan Stacey after filing in a missing persons report. Any Old Port In A Storm I worry. I mean, little things bother me. I'm a worrier. I mean, little insignificant details - I lose my appetite. I can't eat. My wife, she says to me, "you know, you can really be pain."Ransom For A Dead Man There are a couple of loose ends I'd like to tie up. Nothing important you understand.Dead Weight Oh don't mind that, that's just my lunch, that doesn't mean anything. An Exercise In Fatality I knew you could do it. Now You See Him No, never," the lieutenant says. "I couldn't do that." Oliver suggests that Columbo's brilliant mind might be put to better use in another field. He asks the detective if he has ever considered another line of work. The Bye Bye Sky-High I.Q. Murder Case Watch my hand, it's full of grease. This is my dinner. Would you like a piece of chicken?Now You See Him It's a little... steep. But I'll tell ya, it was the quickest way down.The Greenhouse Jungle My wife says I'm the second smartest. She claims there are 80 guys tied for first. Short Fuse I gotta take off this coat. I can't think in this coat...THE COAT, I can't think in the coat. Now You See Him Oh, sorry Lieutenant I didn't recognize you. You look different somehow. Columbo with new coat:I've had a haircut. Now You See Him If you ever wanna go again I'd be happy to take ya...Columbo. Dead Weight I'm hanging up. You can keep talkin but I'm gonna hang up. An Exercise In Fatality She's mad at everybody. She's even mad at the ice cream man."Why does the ice cream truck have to come just before lunch or just before dinner, spoil the children's appetite?" I have to listen to that. I hear that 3 time a week, you know that's 12 times a month.The Most Crucial Game Hi it's me, is she there...Why does she have to go shopping all the time? Requiem For A Falling Star I don't thinks it's proving anything Doc, as a matter of fact I don't even know what it means. It's just one of those things that gets in my head and keeps rolling around in there like a marble. Double Exposure Well Lieutenant, I shall rely that your investigative imagination is somewhat better than that of your underling. Columbo:Excuse me one moment, what is that word?Officer:Dentures.The Most Dangerous Match You're a very kind man Lieutenant. Columbo:Don't count on that Miss Mitchell, don't count on it.Try And Catch Me I respect your talent, but I don't like anything else about you.Murder Under Glass I'm going home and finish getting drunk.Murder Under Glass My wife always calls about some errand at the grocery store. Dagger Of The Mind I never knew that until I did it to my mother-in-law's cookbook. She almost hit me with a frying pan.Dagger Of The Mind I'm always getting you angry, it must be my accent or something. Dagger Of The Mind I can't swim, I don't even like a deep tub. An Exercise In Fatality Well she was never exactly thin, I won't let her. I happen to like a woman ..well that's something else. An Exercise In Fatality Before coffee, I'm up and walkin around but I'm not awake. An Exercise In Fatality You can huff and puff on that rotten cigar until next July, and you'll prove otherwise.An Exercise In Fatality You try to contrive a perfect alibi, and it's your perfect alibi that's gonna hang ya.An Exercise In Fatality My ears pop in an elevator. As a matter of fact I don't even like being this tall. Swan Song I couldn't talk to her about this, she'd think I was working on a dangerous case. She cries easy. She cries when she loses at bowling. Swan Song Sometimes I even wonder about my wife, not that she's a crackpot. Swan Song In those days everything was bad for your eyes. Not wearing mittens was bad for your eyes. Wearing rubbers in the house, that would strike you blind right on the spot.Make Me A Perfect Murder Well, it's better than a gallstone. Did ya ever have a gallstone ma'am? Make Me A Perfect Murder The problem is, he's blocking traffic. Right in the middle of the shooting a citizen comes down, what's he gonna say..."I'm in the middle of a shooting?" Candidate For Crime I must say I found you disappointing; I mean your incompetence. You left enought clues to sink a ship. And for a man of your intelligence, you got caught in a lot of stupid lies. How To Dial A Murder |